For many people, their relationship with a close friend or loved one is a part of who they are. And that is okay. For others, it’s an issue for them. For some, it’s a struggle. It’s hard to know what’s going on in someone else’s mind and heart when they are in a romantic relationship.
The truth is, we’re all different. Some people, like me, need to feel close to someone in order to survive. Other people can’t be in a relationship at all. So like I said, its hard to know whats going on with someone elses mind and heart when they are in a romantic relationship.
My sister did that for me. My sister was a very emotional person, and so she was always in emotional relationships with people she loved. She was a very emotional person. And because she had been in those relationships, she would go on and on about how she was going to beat her ex and how she was going to do so many things and how she was going to be so happy and not have to deal with how he treated her.
This is how many people think about the feelings of others – that they are all in their head. They believe that there is no “real” person in the relationship, and that when an emotional relationship ends, it is the emotional person who “stops breathing”. That’s an incredibly narrow view.
Not to mention the problem with that. That’s only true if you expect to be in an emotional relationship for 20 years. Our empaths don’t live that long, and when their time comes, it’s because they choose to, not because they have to. Empathic relationships are about people, not just for the people they are in an emotional relationship with. It’s not about you, it’s about this person.
The problem for empaths is that they are often so focused on themselves that their relationships are like a mirror, one that reflects back only their own feelings, actions, and attitudes. They have to go through their own self-examination process and realize that they are no longer in an emotional relationship. In fact, they probably aren’t.
To be clear, all empaths deal with not just themselves, but all of the people they feel are attached to. We feel attached to our friends, to our family, to our job, and to our bank account. However, none of that is the case with empaths. Empathic relationships, like empaths, are based on feelings, not on reality. Therefore, all empaths are “empaths” in a way. It’s not about themselves.
This is another example of how empathy is hard to define in humans. No matter what you’ve experienced, no matter what you’ve read, no matter how you’ve been raised, it’s not possible to have an empathy for something that isnt you.
There’s a lot of empathy in the world, a lot of feeling that others have of you. This is another way that empathy is different from a genuine “you owe me something.” When you feel an action you should take, you may feel an obligation to do it, but the fact that you feel this obligation doesn’t make it so. Because the feeling you think you have for someone does not equal the feeling that someone has for you.
So when we’re talking about empathy, we’re talking about a real feeling for someone. Not just some vague feeling you have that you want them to do something. That doesn’t make you a good person.
