We are all wired to be more connected; more connected to others and more connected to ourselves. And that is good. But what good is it if we don’t have a relationship with the people we love in our lives? And even if we do, we still have to have the ability to love ourselves as well.
There’s this whole thing that I’ve noticed, that seems to be going on in relationships at least as much as it is in our friendships. And it’s so important. That is, the moment we see someone we care about, we are already more than half motivated to connect with them. And we’re not even thinking about it. It’s ingrained. Even when we’re not actively trying to connect, we’re already doing it.
I think this is one of those things that is so important to us that we forget we’re falling for these people (and this is exactly the same for our friends). How do we know we are falling for them? Well, we just know it, that’s all. No matter how long we’ve been with them, we have no control over whether or not we are falling for them. They are, at least in our minds, the person we’d marry if we were single.
So you want to connect with someone and you don’t have their best interest at heart? How do you know? The fact is that you don’t. How do you know that you’ve fallen for them, you just feel it, and you don’t care. That is how relationships work. You don’t think about it. You only feel it. And yet, its not the same thing that you think about or care about.
It’s this relationship sense that I am talking about, that you only feel when you are with a person who you care about. How do you know you are in a relationship? Or, I mean, how do you know that you are in a relationship? You just feel it. And yet, it isn’t the same thing that you think about or care about.
When I was in college, I was in a long-term relationship with a guy that I still see every now and then. And I would feel the same way if I were in a long-term relationship with a guy I didnt care about. I felt like I cared about him. I felt things were going well. I felt that I really liked him. But I didnt care about him.
Not everyone who is in a long-term relationship is in love. There’s an important distinction between being in love and being in a relationship. In fact, I think that we often confuse the two. But I would argue that in a relationship, there is a greater level of intimacy and a greater level of commitment. And this is where the word ‘love’ comes in. When you feel that you are in a relationship, you feel that you are in love.
I remember when my boyfriend and I first started dating. We were in a long-term relationship. At my parents’ house, my boyfriend and I would just talk. We would always have this intense talk every couple of weeks, but we would never ever speak of our feelings. We were just together. But we knew, deep down, that we would need to share our feelings. And we did.
This is where the word love comes in. When you feel that you are in a relationship, you feel that you are in love. I remember when my boyfriend and I first started dating. We were in a long-term relationship. At my parents house, my boyfriend and I would just talk. We would always have this intense talk every couple of weeks, but we would never ever speak of our feelings. We were just together.
I was just in a long-term relationship. At the time, I thought that our feelings were so strong, that we would never share them. I thought that if we were together, then I would have to always be the one to share my feelings. I always felt wrong. I felt bad. I thought I was somehow betraying him.