I find that being a bully can be quite a challenge. I can be very direct and blunt at times, but I also have to be very careful not to do anything that makes me look like a bully. I’ve been called “a jealous, resentful, controlling bitch”, “unreliable,” “a bitch,” and many other things. I’ve even been called “insensitive.
The thing is, it doesn’t matter how you are called. Because the point is that you are a bully, and no one likes a bully. If you’re called a bitch you don’t like that, you probably need to change what you’re doing. If you’re called a bitch you probably also need to change what you’re doing.
The thing is, though, the people who are calling you bad names are not necessarily the same people who say nasty things to you. If you are saying nasty things to someone, they are not necessarily the same person who is telling you nasty things about them. Ive had friends call me an attention whore, bitch, and bitch-slag. Ive even had friends call me a bitch and bitch-slag.
But the people who are saying nasty things about you do not necessarily see you as a victim. Because there is no victim in an abusive relationship. Every person who is acting like a victim is actually the person who is acting like the victim.
The people who are telling you nasty things are the ones who are acting like victims. That is not okay. The people who are telling you nasty things do not have control over how you come across to the people they like. If you are being told nasty things about someone, you should make the effort to say nice things about that person. This is not a way to get back at them. Doing this is not a sign of respect or affection.
When a person acts like a victim, they are actually the one who is acting like a victim. When someone acts like a victim, they are behaving like a victim. When someone acts like a victim, they are making it a point to cause pain.
This is a concept that came to us from our work with Dr. Laura and several other therapists who work with victims of domestic abuse. They have found that when a person knows that they are being abused they are more likely to feel anger, pain, and pain-related symptoms. We think it makes sense in that many of our clients have difficulty expressing their anger, so when they do they are often unable to express their pain, so they begin to act like victims.
We think it is true, but it is also true that people who are in an abusive relationship often have more negative feelings about their partners than the average person. For instance, one of our clients who has suffered from an abusive relationship recently called us to say that she is now considering suicide. She was angry and hurt and did not want to live anymore. She said it was all her fault that her husband had been abusing her for years. She was angry that he was so cruel.
One of the core elements of abuse is that the abusive person holds the victim in contempt or disrespect. Being in an abusive relationship is a pretty cruel thing to do. We think it is important to call out these types of behaviors and get them addressed, but we also hope what we share here can help you understand why some people might have an abusive relationship and how to manage it.
We have seen a lot of examples of people who are just having a bad day. Some of them are abusive. Some of them are depressed. Some of them just have no idea what to do about it. So we think this is a good place to start.