A lot of couples are surprised to learn that the average amount of time it takes them to fall in love is around five years. But it’s not just the time it takes to fall in love itself that makes it so hard, it’s the amount of time it takes to get over the initial attachment.
In short, if you fall in love but don’t end up marrying the person you thought you would marry, you’ll probably have a rocky relationship for the next five years. Why? Because as soon as you stop thinking about the person you thought you would marry you just realize you’re not going to be able to fall in love with that person anymore.
It’s a well-known rule that you can’t fall in love with a person that you think you’re going to marry but not with that person.
I know, I know, I know. But in this day and age of social media and texting, it’s hard to put your finger on exactly what makes a long-term relationship a bad idea.
Relationship? It’s like a car that can’t keep up with the speed limit. There are many cases where you’re going to be in a relationship for a very long time, but you’re going to go insane and just drive off the road in front of them.
But its not just the speed limit, but also the type of people youre attracted to. If youre attracted to someone who is not a “normal” person, it could be that they are going to make you feel like a freakin’ weirdo. Or perhaps they’re going to make you feel like a stranger. This is basically what happens to the people who go through this stage of relationships in my opinion.
I think for most people what really gets their blood racing is the fact that they are still attracted to their ex (or love interest) and then discover that their relationship is going to be over and they just go into a tailspin. They think, “wow, I never knew this would ever happen to me, but I’m going to be with this person forever,” and they kind of gulp down their tears.
I can completely understand this feeling, but it’s not really all that common. As I said, I had a friend who broke up with her boyfriend after a few weeks but he still stayed in touch. Her ex-boyfriend just got married and she was still really sad. She told me that for the first couple weeks all she did was cry every night on the phone, and then she realized she needed to actually work on her problem.
My friend is more like the type who just goes into the relationship to prove to herself that they will last. She will take a break when she thinks her ex is back to his old self, or when they have just a minute to chat, or when they’re in the middle of something important. She will tell him that she will be checking in with him every day, or a few times a week, or every couple of hours, to make sure that he is still alive.
I know this sounds a little ridiculous, but if you are going to be in a relationship and you know you want to be, you should at least give yourself a try. It might not last forever, but it will be worth it.