We all have been in a controversial relationship. Some of us have been in a good one and the rest of us have been in a bad one. There are no guarantees when it comes to a healthy relationship.
The key to a healthy relationship is finding out what’s in the best interests of both parties, even if there are some things that can’t be resolved. In the case of a relationship, that can mean things like not being overly pushy, agreeing to disagree, and not acting like a jerk.
So what if youve been in a relationship with a jerk? What if youve been in a relationship with a mean person? What if youve had a fight with someone who was overbearing and you dont want to be anymore? These are some of the questions that people ask about healthy relationships.
One of the core ideas in my book is that healthy relationships are always based on mutual respect and consideration. This is to say that if someone says something mean and doesn’t respect you, they’re going to treat you with even less respect. This is basically the definition of a jerk. If youve been in a relationship where youve been treated that way, you probably don’t like the way it feels.
Well, it doesn’t sound like youve been in a relationship where youve been treated that way but my point is that if youve been in a relationship and youve been in a relationship where youve been treated that way, you probably feel that way about it.
Thats exactly what I thought last night, at least when I first heard the term “jerk.” I immediately wondered if the person I was talking to was a jerk, and when I thought about how I felt about all this, I realized that I was talking to a jerk.
I would argue that being treated as a jerk is one of the most destructive things you can do to yourself. It can literally affect your health, your relationships, and even your overall happiness. But what does it even mean to be a jerk? I’m going to take you through some of the most popular jerks in literature and how they were once defined and then discuss why we might think that definition is still relevant today.
I always say that I don’t like to start a sentence with a question. But in this case, you must have seen my answer.
And here’s the deal: The definition of a jerk is a person who uses their power to hurt people in ways they don’t want to be used. Jeez. That’s like if someone told you they want to eat all your flesh and use that to feed their pets. That’s not what they want to be told, and they can’t be blamed for what they want to be told if they choose to listen.
I had a friend, a former boyfriend, who used to say to me “I don’t need to know more than to know that I don’t like your tits” on a regular basis. There was no apology, there was no attempt to understand what he was saying, it was just a statement of his opinion and I always replied by telling him to look at my breasts while I was eating and tell me how he feels.