Asking a woman to help you move is asking her to move her own body. Asking a man to help you move your body is asking him to move your body.
It’s a difficult concept to wrap my head around, but ask yourself, “What is my role in a relationship?” If you’re in a relationship where you have no role, then the question is moot. The same goes for your job. If you’re an employee who’s doing an important job that involves you and your boss, then no one can make you do it.
I don’t think it’s possible to have a meaningful relationship where you are not your own boss. The only way we can do that is if we are the boss.
I think what comes through most consistently in my interactions with women and men is that they want to be in relationships where they have a meaningful role. In fact, I think there should be a minimum amount of role for any relationship. A job is not a game and you shouldnt have a job you cant handle.
In other words, a man and a woman should have a minimum amount of what I call “role.” The role that a man should have in a relationship is to be the guy. Not the girl. Not the friend. Not the babysitter. I hate games where there is a specific role to be fulfilled.
I think that there are two types of roles in any relationship: those where there is a predetermined set of characteristics and things that are required to be fulfilled and those where the roles are not set. In the first type of role, the man and woman should have some common sense that they can pull out of the woodwork to make each other do their thing, but there are no roles, so they have to figure out how to get along with each other.
What’s interesting about this is that this type of role is very common in real-life relationships. It’s also why marriage (or even just being in a committed relationship) is such a very hard thing to do. It’s difficult to figure out what type of role you want to play in a relationship, so you’ll often end up playing the role of a guy who doesn’t know what he wants or doing all the “fun” stuff that you didn’t want to do.
So, if you think about it, the whole idea of a role is that it has a defined set of tasks to be fulfilled and one person is the person who is supposed to do these tasks.
The main thing that we think of when we think of roles is who does what. There is a very real sense that men and women have different roles in relationships, as well as different types. There are many different ways to do things, and the roles we play in relationships may not be the same, but the same.
I think women and men are very different people. Just like different roles, there are different types.